I lied

I lied
Just when I thought I wouldn't,
and couldn't lie anymore
Forgive me,
Its not intentional, believe me,
Its just because of this contraindicating thoughts and feelings
I feel each time I see you look at me

I really would like to stop now
You have no idea how much this torments me
Its like shredding every fiber of my being
How can you expect me to be fine the next day?
What am I to you really?

For once, I want the world to disappear
I'm done blaming anyone or anything,
I'm tired of looking for explanations for everything
I'm through with reasons and understanding

Choose me,
And I'll crumple the sky for your pocket to keep
Pick me,
And I'll watch you in your sleep
Love me,
With nothing in exchange, without reason, without doubt
I have nothing for you to give
Nothing at all,
not even a used up old button, or a cent, or rotten shoelace
Nothing but me,
This is all I can give you

But still, I still want you to pick me,
Just close your eyes and choose me,
I really, really want you to love me,
Just because