One of The Last Letters For Anima

I am despicable, unspeakable,
selfish and ugly
For no matter how hard I tried
I still can't help but wish
For Anima to be mine

I really just want to hold Anima's hand
I really just want to sing Anima's songs
I really just want to be by Anima's side
And never leave that side

And because I am this awful and disgraceful,
Now, Anima wouldn't even look at me
And Anima wouldn't let me hear his voice anymore
And I found out that it hurts when he shows he does not care

But above the pain of this searing hole in my heart
Is the greater pain I feel when I see Anima sad
and it hurts even more to know that I can't do anything for the sad Anima

I can't just ask him to smile for me
I can't recite songs of happiness for him
Because that place is simply not for me

But please don't feel uneasy
For I know that this is my fault
And the blame is mine to claim

Allow me to take this chance to say sorry
And if Anima couldn't accept my apology,
Actually, I don't know what I should do if Anima couldn't forgive me

Still,
I'll still try,
For this to be the last letter that I will write for Anima,
To smile and laugh just like before
To not show my weaknesses anymore
Because, in the end, I still don't want to loose
The Anima I knew from before